Shiprooted
by metalmouth2k16
Summary: The crew of the Enterprise play Sburb. The rest is history. A mix of 2009, TOS, and TNG. Rated T for language, the worst it gets is b-t-d The chapter names are for the following chapter, like the format of Homestuck.
1. Shiprooted

I do not own Star Trek TOS, Star Trek TNG, Star Trek 2009, or Homestuck.

Any relations to any persons living or dead is COMPLETELY coincidental.

This is a non-profit fan-based crossover.


	2. Enter name

SHIPROOTED

A young man sits on a large chair on the Bridge of a spaceship. It just so happens that today, the 22nd of March, 2257, is this young man's birthday. Though it was twenty-four years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?


	3. Kirk: Boldly go

Your name is **James Tiberius Kirk**. You are the **Captain** of the starship **USS _Enterprise_** **.** You and your crew are one year into your **five-year mission** to **"explore strange, new lands; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before."**

What will you do next?


	4. Kirk: Converse with the Science Officer

You are already boldly going, stupid!


	5. Kirk: Just talk to the Science Officer!

You pick up the **PADD** that you use when talking with **other crew members**. Each **crew member** is identified by an **alias** and types **in the color of their shirt**. Your **shirt** is **yellow** and your **alias** is OutrankU (OU).


	6. Kirk: Go do something interesting

You type out a message to your **science officer**.

OurtankU (OU) began conversing with FirstScienceOfficer (FS)

OU: hey what's up

FS: Captain, you do realize that we are in the same room and simply conversing verbally would be a lot less time consuming, do you not?

OU: aww c'mon don't spoil my fun!

FS: Then I shall withhold my remarks about your frankly disturbing lack of grammar when we converse in this manner.

OU: quiet. i want to ask you a question

FS: what has prevented you from doing so thus far?

OU: my question is…

OU: is…

OU: IS…

OU: …

OU: …

OU: aren't you gonna ask me what my question is?

FS: It seems like that is the only way that you will divulge your "question."

OU: don't use those air quotes with me

OU: my question is

OU: how much longer until something happens?

OU: seriously i'm bored as all heck

FS: I cannot answer your question, Captain.

OU: well darn

OU: but you'll tell me if important stuff is happening right?

FS: Captain, that is my duty.

OU: cool story bro

OU: Kirk out

OutrankU (OU) ceased conversing with FirstScienceOfficer (FS)


	7. Kirk: Leave the Bridge

You suppose that you could check on **engineering**.


	8. Kirk: Walk and daydream

You enter the **turbolift** and proceed to engineering.


	9. Kirk: Be a random crew member

While on the way to engineering, you pass some people in a hallway. Ah, how nice it would be to liberate yourself from your captaining duties just for a day and talk to lots of pretty ladies.  
Yeah, that would be nice.


	10. Crew member: Enter name

You are now a random crewmember.  
But not as random as you think! What is your name?


	11. Bones: Examine Sickbay

Your name is **Leonard McCoy**. Sometimes your close friends call you **Bones**. You are the _Enterprise_ 's **Chief Medical Officer** , and you have made it clear on many occasions that you do not partake in any other occupations, contrary to popular belief.

What will you do?


	12. McCoy: Examine Sickbay

Your name is **McCoy** , not **Bones**!


	13. McCoy: Talk to the Captain

That's better.  
Sickbay is nice and tidy and ready for a patient. Not that you necessarily WANT a patient right now. But you're ready if a patient does come around.


	14. McCoy: Bug the Science Officer

What's the point? He's probably very busy right now. And besides, there's nothing to talk about.


	15. McCoy: Be the Science Officer

Now there's an idea…

Your **alias** is onlyaDoctor and your **shirt** is **blue.**

You reach for your PADD and begin typing up a message for him.

onlyaDoctor (OD) began conversing with FirstScienceOfficer (FS)

OD: so

OD: whats happenin

FS: No doubt you are aware how much your lack of proper syntax irritates me.

OD: heheheheh

FS: Do you have a question or a request from me, Doctor?

OD: why yes in fact i do

OD: …

OD: actually no i dont

OD: no one is in sickbay but me

OD: i guess that thats a good thing

OD: but theres been nothing happening for too long

OD: and im sick of it

FS: It appears to me that most of the crew feels the same way you do.

FS: However, I would prefer boredom to a catastrophe.

OD: im sure that we all would

OD: but still

FS: Your wish may be coming true in the very near future.

OD: whats that supposed to mean

FS: I must attend to something.

FirstSceinceOfficer (FS) ceased conversing with onlyaDoctor (OD)

OD: hey!

OD: get back here and tell me what's going on!


	16. Crewmember: Enter name

You are now another crew member.


	17. Sulu: Check things on the control panel

Your name is **Hikaru Sulu. You** are the **helmsman** of the **USS _Enterprise_**. You enjoy **botany** and **fencing,** though not at the same time. (You've tried, and plants are horrible fencers.) Right now, you are very **bored,** just like everyone else on this ship. You briefly wonder how your **bonsais** are doing.


	18. Sulu: Tell the Science Officer

There's nothing to check because you're out in the middle of outer space and hold on a second.

You are reading a power surge coming from the inky blackness and desolation that is the final frontier. You decide to tell someone.


	19. Sulu: Tell to the Other Guy

Your **alias** is banzaiBotanist and your **shirt** is **yellow**.

banzaiBotanist (BB) began conversing with FirstScienceOfficer (FS)

BB: I am getting a power fluctuation coming from space.

FS: My scanners are picking it up as well.

FS: It is being analyzed now.

BB: It looks like something is finally happening for a change!

FS: Yes, it does indeed look that way.

BB: …

BB: Can you tell what it is yet?

FS: Not yet, Mr. Sulu.

FS: The power surge is enormous. I expect that it will take about forty-five minutes for it to be totally scanned.

BB: Awwwwwwww :(

BB: Tell me when its completely read!

FS: I will have to relay it through the Captain first, Mr. Sulu, but I will inform you as much as I can about it if he gives the okay.

BB: Awesome! Thank you!

bonzaiBotanist (BB) ceased conversing with FirstScienceOfficer (FS)


	20. Sulu: Be the Science Officer

bonzaiBotanist (BB) began conversing with RealRussian (RR)

BB: Hey guess what!

RR: What?

BB: Somethings happening!

RR: Oh really?

BB: Yeah I just got a HUGE power fluctuation reading coming from space!

RR: Interesting…

BB: Yeah I know!

RR: Is there someone taking readings and such on it?  
BB: Yeah but its not me. I wish it was though.

RR: So I take it that you're writing this to me instead of saying it to me because you don't want us to be owerheard, correct?

RR: *overheard

BB: Yep.

BB: The power flux will be totally scanned in forty five minutes and then Captain Kirk will decide whether or not to tell us what it is.

RR: Well, I hope he does. It's been too long without something interesting happening.

BB: Tell me about it.

BB: Um.

BB: Are you playing tetris?

RR: Shhhhhhhh…

RR: It was inwented in Russia. I have a right.

RR: *invented

BB: Hehe okay then have fun!

RR: Thanks.

bonzaiBotanist (BB) ceased conversing with RealRussian (RR)


	21. Sulu: Identify the Science Officer

You cannot be the Science Officer because you do not know who the science officer is!

That is, you as in "you the reader." Sulu knows who the Science Officer is.


	22. Scotty: Do stuff

You are now the **Chief Engineer** of the _USS Enterprise_. Your name is **Montgomery Scott** , but everyone just calls you **Scotty**. You love the ship as if it was your own child. Right now, Captain Kirk is down here in **engineering** , bugging you. He is obviously bored out of his mind. But he has come to the right place! **Engineering** is never boring! There are always things to check, calibrations to make, tests to run aaaaaaaaaaand he's gone. You guess that this just isn't the captain's forte. Well, you have stuff to do and there is no time to waste.


	23. Scotty: Converse with someone

Okay that was a lie. You do have some things to do, but there is plenty of time to waste. It's not like anything has been happening recently. Sigh.


	24. Scotty: Calibrate engines

There is no point in wasting anyone time! And besides, you want to calibrate the engines again, just in case you have to escape a bunch of meteors.  
That was oddly specific…


	25. Scotty: Take a break

Okay, that literally took six seconds. Good for you.


	26. McCoy: Talk to Kirk

You decide to take a break and chat with one of your friends. After all, it's not like HE's doing anything either, most likely. Anyone who is on the Bridge now is likely bored out of their skulls.  
Your **alias** is MiracleWorker and your **shirt** is **red**.

MiracleWorker (MW) began conversing with RealRussian (RR)

MW: hello there laddie

RR: Sup.

MW: anything interesting happening up there

RR: Nope, nothing at all. Ewerything is boring.

MW: err…yeh type with ws instead of vs

RR: No, it's a mistake. That should be "everything."

MW: oh I see

MW: so

MW: um

RR: Pretty much.

MW: oh

MW: …

RR: …

RR: Did you know that today is Captain Kirk's birthday?

MW: is it really

RR: Yes, he is twenty-four as of today.

MW: well good for him

MW: that means that this is also the day that his dad died

RR: Quite sad.

MW: yeah

MW: what if we baked him a cake

RR: Heh

RR: It would probably be the most interesting thing that has happened in the past week.

MW: wed probably manage to blow the thing up

RR: Ha ha true.

RR: Hey, I'm getting another message.

RR: I'll talk to you again later.

MW: kay bye

MiracleWorker (MW) ceased conversing with RealRussian (RR)

RR proceeds to have a conversation that you (the reader) have already read.


	27. Nice going

You just remembered, today is Jim's birthday! You should send him some sappy birthday wishes.

onlyaDoctor (OD) began conversing with OutrankU (OU)

OD: Jim!

OU: what's going on bones?

OD: happy birthday!

OU: how nice of u to remember

OD: well, you are only one of my closest friends. it's the least I can do.

OU: i'll say

OU: i bet you didn't even get me a present

OD: actually…

OD: well

OD: come down to sickbay and you'll find out!

OU: ohhhhhhh no

OU: this is just a weird trick to get me to take my physical! and on my birthday too!

OU: bones i am so disappointed in you!

OD: Jim, it's not a trick.

OU: yes it is! and i know it!

OD: you're overreacting.

OutrankU (OU) ceased conversing with onlyaDoctor (OD)

OD: dammit, Jim.


	28. Kirk: Whine

You suppose that it's just as well. You really don't have a present for him.


	29. Kirk: Slowly make your way to the Bridge

You are so furious with Bones right now. How dare he! That was gonna be a dirty rotten trick.  
The truth is, you had forgotten it was your birthday. On purpose? Maybe. Remembering how, when, and why your dad died always makes you sad. At the same time, though, you think that you deserve some cake or something.


	30. Kirk: Haul ass to the Bridge

You haul ass to the bridge.


	31. Kirk: Consult the Science Officer

You are now a lady. She is the **Communications Officer** aboard the _USS Enterprise_. The Captain just raced in and began talking with your boyfriend. What's going on? you wonder.  
In the meantime, this poor reader is wondering what your name is.


	32. Lady: Enter name

Your name is **Nyota Uhura** , but everyone except your boyfriend calls you **Uhura**. Heck, a lot of the crew doesn't even know your first name. You enjoy playing **weird space instruments** and **singing**. What will you do now?


	33. Uhura: Reveal schedule

You will do your job now. And your job is presently very boring, kind of like everyone else's. Actually, it looks like you boyfriend and the Captain are quite intrigued. Hmmmmmm…  
Oops. It looks like your boyfriend has caught you staring at him and the Captain. (To be honest, you were spacing out.)


End file.
